Ben's Birth Story

On Saturday, May 5, 2012, Mary Claire and I welcomed our second son, Benjamin David, into the world. It is was quite an adventure and not exactly how we expected it to happen. Mary Claire tells the story below:

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At my first prenatal visit, Dr. Wiley said to me: “You know, I think this baby is just going to fall out of you.” Sam came fast (about 7 hours of labor), and I was about 35 pounds lighter than when I was pregnant with him, so she had reason for her suspicion. I doubt, though, that she thought we would take it literally…

My pregnancy with Ben went well, except for a bout with polyhydromnios (excess amniotic fluid). The fear of pre-term and/or complicated labor had us on edge for several weeks. All of the extra sonograms suggested that Ben was a BIG boy, so Dr. Wiley brought up induction and c-section a few times, especially considering the severity of my tearing with Sam. I was not open to those kinds of interventions unless absolutely necessary, so we started praying that Ben would come a little early on his own, specifically Cinco de Mayo because I thought 5-5-12 would be a cool birthday. (By the way, we did the same for Sam, praying for 2-2-10 – kind of neat to be able to “pick” our sons’ birthdays.)

I had a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions all during my pregnancy with Ben, and during the last couple of weeks, they were coming frequently and with increasing pressure.  When Dr. Wiley checked me on May 2, I was about 4.5 cm dilated and fully effaced, so we were definitely on an “any day now” alert.  Still hoping for a 5-5-12 birthday, David and I decided to pull out all the stops the evening before. First we went to the Kimball with Sam so I could look at “some pretty pictures” while David walked me to death. We then headed to Terra for some eggplant dishes, and David gave me the pineapple off of his drink. (I later read that it would take eating 3 whole pineapples to have an appreciable effect on labor, but the slice was still tasty!) Later at home it was castor oil and evening primrose oil with ankle massages. We went to bed around 10:30.

I woke up several times to go to the bathroom and didn’t feel any labor symptoms. Then, at 3:15 am, I woke up with a strong “cramp.” I thought that it was the result of the castor oil at first, but given our history, I woke David up right after going to the bathroom and told him I thought I was in labor and that my water may have started leaking. He asked if it was time to call Betsy to come and watch Sam. I was hesitant because I hated to wake her at that hour, but knew by then it was time.  He was out of bed (3:20 am) and called Betsy (3:21 am). He left a voicemail and at 3:23 am she called back and asked if she needed to come right away. The answer at that point was a definitive “Yes!” After another contraction, I told David to get moving if he needed to do anything before we left, and he got all the cameras, bags, etc. together. I asked him to call Dr. Wiley, but he wanted to time a few contractions first so we had something to tell her, so he started timing at 3:30 am. I lied down in bed trying to do the relaxation techniques that we spent months practicing, but could not get my body to cooperate. I was shaking and could not relax. The intensity was overwhelming, and I started to really worry that I couldn’t get any control over my body through a contraction. I woke up in “hard labor” with Sam, too, but this was different. This felt more like transition than first stage labor.

After the first contraction in bed, I had to go to the bathroom, and my water really broke. I tried getting back in bed, but I still couldn’t relax. David was trying to coach me, but I just responded: “Bradley (the natural childbirth method we use) isn’t working. I can’t do this!” I got out of bed with a wave of nausea and headed back to the bathroom where I had two more excruciating contractions. At that point (3:45 am), David called Dr. Wiley, reported that the contractions were over a minute long and 3 minutes apart and told her that we were headed to the hospital as soon as Betsy arrived to keep Sam. Her response was: “Throw the kid in the car and go to the hospital NOW!” David hung up with her and tried to call Betsy back to see if it would be faster to get Sam in the car or wait for her to arrive. She didn’t pick up the phone. He then ran into the bathroom to get me dressed and in the car.  (A side note: Sam slept through this entire ordeal. Absolutely amazing considering there is screaming and ambulances to come…)

While David was making these calls, I arrived at the point of sheer terror as I realized that there was no way we could go anywhere. The last contraction that I had was so totally overwhelming that I instinctively reached down and when I did, I felt Ben’s head. When David came into the bathroom saying that we had to get in the car immediately, I completely gave in to the panic.  I just said (or maybe screamed): “No car. I’m having a baby right now!” Thinking that I was probably just using hyperbole to communicate how much pain I was in, he tried again, saying, “Babe, we’ve got to get you dressed and in the car.” I responded, “No car! Get a towel!” At that point, he looked down and could see Ben’s hair. He got a towel, helped me onto our bedroom floor, and called Dr. Wiley back to tell her we weren’t going to the hospital, we were having a baby then and there.  David had her on speaker, and while it was reassuring that he had some help, I went into a whole other level of panic when I couldn’t push. While lying on my back, I felt like it would be impossible to get Ben out. He felt completely stuck (something I was screaming over and over), and I physically could not push or even get my breath. David could see that Ben wasn’t aligned correctly to come out, and I heard Dr. Wiley ask if he could tell if the baby was vertex or breech. (Later at the hospital she commented that if the baby was breech her plan was to hang up on David, get back in bed, pull the covers over her head and pretend like nothing had happened. I can’t say that I blame her.) At that point, I seriously thought that Ben and I were going to die.  David assured us both that he was seeing a head, but I still couldn’t push. I remembered what it took to deliver Sam, knowing that those kinds of interventions weren’t an option for us at home.

Thankfully, David and I had talked only a few days before about using a different birth position for Ben given my difficulty in pushing Sam on my back. We had even talked to Dr. Wiley about it, and she was favorable to trying anything that might prevent such severe tearing. Probably the best thing that David did during all this craziness (other than remaining completely calm) was to have the wisdom and presence of mind to get me off my back.  He tried to get me to squat, but I couldn’t. I ended up on all fours and finally felt like the baby had a chance to get out.  At that point Betsy walked in the house to me screaming, “He’s tearing me!!!” She asked if David had called 911. He said no and she immediately called. 

Before the paramedics even arrived, David delivered Ben’s head. Then, all of a sudden, there were 15 medics and firefighters gathered in our bedroom with me on the floor, naked, delivering a baby. (Apparently, the Fort Worth fire department responds to 911 calls with the paramedics, and all of them felt the need to crowd into our bedroom for the show.) I remember the lead guy, Pablo, asking how far apart my contractions were and thinking, “You’re a little late to this party, dude.” David’s response to him was simply: “No contractions. Baby.” I would have loved to have seen Pablo’s face at that moment.  David let Pablo take over and Ben was born at 4:03 am, 48 minutes after I felt my first contraction.

The physical relief along with looking down and seeing my pink, crying baby was the most overwhelming feeling I’ve ever experienced. We didn’t die. He wasn’t stuck. He was healthy and beautiful. Amazing. All I could get out was: “My baby! Give me my baby! I want my baby!” Pablo was trying to tell me he had to do assessments and clamp the cord, etc., but David calmly said: “No, she’s going to hold him first.” Pablo tried to protest, but then there was Dr. Wiley on the speakerphone saying, “Just give her the baby!” So then I had sweet Ben in my arms.  David cut the cord, and then they put us on the gurney, and we headed to the hospital.

The ambulance ride was a blur. All I can remember is looking at Ben and arguing with Pablo that I didn’t need an IV or oxygen. I was pretty whoozy by the time we arrived, but I do remember Pablo saying, “I didn’t want to tell you this earlier, but I’ve never done THAT before.” Nice.

Dr. Wiley was in the delivery room waiting for us with this look on her face like, “Really, you two??” I think it was a first for her, too.  Had I not been so out of it by then, I would have told her not to predict that a baby would fall out of any more of her patients… It might just happen that way!