On Saturday, May 5, 2012, Mary Claire and I welcomed our second son, Benjamin David, into the world. It is was quite an adventure and not exactly how we expected it to happen. Mary Claire tells the story below:
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At my first prenatal visit, Dr. Wiley said to me: “You know,
I think this baby is just going to fall out of you.” Sam came fast (about 7
hours of labor), and I was about 35 pounds lighter than when I was pregnant
with him, so she had reason for her suspicion. I doubt, though, that she
thought we would take it literally…
My pregnancy with Ben went well, except for a bout with
polyhydromnios (excess amniotic fluid). The fear of pre-term and/or complicated
labor had us on edge for several weeks. All of the extra sonograms suggested
that Ben was a BIG boy, so Dr. Wiley brought up induction and c-section a few
times, especially considering the severity of my tearing with Sam. I was not
open to those kinds of interventions unless absolutely necessary, so we started
praying that Ben would come a little early on his own, specifically Cinco de
Mayo because I thought 5-5-12 would be a cool birthday. (By the way, we did the
same for Sam, praying for 2-2-10 – kind of neat to be able to “pick” our sons’
birthdays.)
I had a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions all during my
pregnancy with Ben, and during the last couple of weeks, they were coming
frequently and with increasing pressure.
When Dr. Wiley checked me on May 2, I was about 4.5 cm dilated and fully
effaced, so we were definitely on an “any day now” alert. Still hoping for a 5-5-12 birthday,
David and I decided to pull out all the stops the evening before. First we went
to the Kimball with Sam so I could look at “some pretty pictures” while David
walked me to death. We then headed to Terra for some eggplant dishes, and David
gave me the pineapple off of his drink. (I later read that it would take eating
3 whole pineapples to have an appreciable effect on labor, but the slice was
still tasty!) Later at home it was castor oil and evening primrose oil with
ankle massages. We went to bed around 10:30.
I woke up several times to go to the bathroom and didn’t
feel any labor symptoms. Then, at 3:15 am, I woke up with a strong “cramp.” I
thought that it was the result of the castor oil at first, but given our
history, I woke David up right after going to the bathroom and told him I
thought I was in labor and that my water may have started leaking. He asked if
it was time to call Betsy to come and watch Sam. I was hesitant because I hated
to wake her at that hour, but knew by then it was time. He was out of bed (3:20 am) and called
Betsy (3:21 am). He left a voicemail and at 3:23 am she called back and asked
if she needed to come right away. The answer at that point was a definitive
“Yes!” After another contraction, I told David to get moving if he needed to do
anything before we left, and he got all the cameras, bags, etc. together. I
asked him to call Dr. Wiley, but he wanted to time a few contractions first so
we had something to tell her, so he started timing at 3:30 am. I lied down in
bed trying to do the relaxation techniques that we spent months practicing, but
could not get my body to cooperate. I was shaking and could not relax. The
intensity was overwhelming, and I started to really worry that I couldn’t get
any control over my body through a contraction. I woke up in “hard labor” with
Sam, too, but this was different. This felt more like transition than first
stage labor.
After the first contraction in bed, I had to go to the
bathroom, and my water really broke. I tried getting back in bed, but I still couldn’t
relax. David was trying to coach me, but I just responded: “Bradley (the
natural childbirth method we use) isn’t working. I can’t do this!” I got out of
bed with a wave of nausea and headed back to the bathroom where I had two more
excruciating contractions. At that point (3:45 am), David called Dr. Wiley,
reported that the contractions were over a minute long and 3 minutes apart and
told her that we were headed to the hospital as soon as Betsy arrived to keep
Sam. Her response was: “Throw the kid in the car and go to the hospital NOW!”
David hung up with her and tried to call Betsy back to see if it would be
faster to get Sam in the car or wait for her to arrive. She didn’t pick up the
phone. He then ran into the bathroom to get me dressed and in the car. (A side note: Sam slept through this
entire ordeal. Absolutely amazing considering there is screaming and ambulances
to come…)
While David was making these calls, I arrived at the point
of sheer terror as I realized that there was no way we could go anywhere. The
last contraction that I had was so totally overwhelming that I instinctively reached
down and when I did, I felt Ben’s head. When David came into the bathroom
saying that we had to get in the car immediately, I completely gave in to the
panic. I just said (or maybe
screamed): “No car. I’m having a baby right now!” Thinking that I was probably
just using hyperbole to communicate how much pain I was in, he tried again,
saying, “Babe, we’ve got to get you dressed and in the car.” I responded, “No
car! Get a towel!” At that point, he looked down and could see Ben’s hair. He
got a towel, helped me onto our bedroom floor, and called Dr. Wiley back to
tell her we weren’t going to the hospital, we were having a baby then and there. David had her on speaker, and while it
was reassuring that he had some help, I went into a whole other level of panic
when I couldn’t push. While lying on my back, I felt like it would be
impossible to get Ben out. He felt completely stuck (something I was screaming
over and over), and I physically could not push or even get my breath. David
could see that Ben wasn’t aligned correctly to come out, and I heard Dr. Wiley
ask if he could tell if the baby was vertex or breech. (Later at the hospital
she commented that if the baby was breech her plan was to hang up on David, get
back in bed, pull the covers over her head and pretend like nothing had
happened. I can’t say that I blame her.) At that point, I seriously thought
that Ben and I were going to die.
David assured us both that he was seeing a head, but I still couldn’t
push. I remembered what it took to deliver Sam, knowing that those kinds of
interventions weren’t an option for us at home.
Thankfully, David and I had talked only a few days before
about using a different birth position for Ben given my difficulty in pushing
Sam on my back. We had even talked to Dr. Wiley about it, and she was favorable
to trying anything that might prevent such severe tearing. Probably the best
thing that David did during all this craziness (other than remaining completely
calm) was to have the wisdom and presence of mind to get me off my back. He tried to get me to squat, but I
couldn’t. I ended up on all fours and finally felt like the baby had a chance
to get out. At that point Betsy
walked in the house to me screaming, “He’s tearing me!!!” She asked if David
had called 911. He said no and she immediately called.
Before the paramedics even arrived, David delivered Ben’s
head. Then, all of a sudden, there were 15 medics and firefighters gathered in
our bedroom with me on the floor, naked, delivering a baby. (Apparently, the
Fort Worth fire department responds to 911 calls with the paramedics, and all
of them felt the need to crowd into our bedroom for the show.) I remember the
lead guy, Pablo, asking how far apart my contractions were and thinking,
“You’re a little late to this party, dude.” David’s response to him was simply:
“No contractions. Baby.” I would have loved to have seen Pablo’s face at that
moment. David let Pablo take over
and Ben was born at 4:03 am, 48 minutes after I felt my first contraction.
The physical relief along with looking down and seeing my pink,
crying baby was the most overwhelming feeling I’ve ever experienced. We didn’t
die. He wasn’t stuck. He was healthy and beautiful. Amazing. All I could get
out was: “My baby! Give me my baby! I want my baby!” Pablo was trying to tell
me he had to do assessments and clamp the cord, etc., but David calmly said:
“No, she’s going to hold him first.” Pablo tried to protest, but then there was
Dr. Wiley on the speakerphone saying, “Just give her the baby!” So then I had
sweet Ben in my arms. David cut
the cord, and then they put us on the gurney, and we headed to the hospital.
The ambulance ride was a blur. All I can remember is looking
at Ben and arguing with Pablo that I didn’t need an IV or oxygen. I was pretty whoozy
by the time we arrived, but I do remember Pablo saying, “I didn’t want to tell
you this earlier, but I’ve never done THAT before.” Nice.
Dr. Wiley was in the delivery room waiting for us with this
look on her face like, “Really, you two??” I think it was a first for her,
too. Had I not been so out of it
by then, I would have told her not to predict that a baby would fall out of any
more of her patients… It might just happen that way!
